Don’t be afraid of time apart
A relationship should always feel like an adventure, you will feel excited to see each other even if that means just leaving work and coming home to one another and you should always set time where you can simply enjoy each other’s company as a couple, away from family and friends. However, people forget that time apart (or distance) can make the heart grow fonder. If you live separately but still always seem to be in each other’s pockets in your spare time, set one night a week where you spend it alone, whether that’s at home watching a show they don’t enjoy or attending a gym class. ‘You time’ is important and vital if you want to keep a relationship going strong.
No matter how small your mistake, it’s important that you learn to quickly apologise if you have done something to upset or offend your partner. Learning to apologise early on will ensure both parties know how each other feels about a situation and will ensure there are no mixed messages or bad blood in a relationship.
Think before you act
You could be sat on the sofa one night and catch out of the corner of your eye a text your partner is writing, you notice that the name at the top of their screen is that of their ex. Instantly you feel jealous, betrayed, angry and insecure. Stop. Don’t get emotional just yet, there could be a very good reason for them to be texting and they will probably tell you about it if it means nothing. Wait a day, if they let you know they’ve been in contact that’s great, if not then you could just ask about it casually and no doubt they will have a good explanation, they might have just been afraid of your reaction. We all fear having our hearts broken but don’t realise that we could be the catalyst for such an event.
Never walk away
Sometimes arguments can get heated and you want nothing more than to cut it short and make your point by slamming out of the room. People forget that relationships are maintained through healthy communication, not slamming and shouting and never coming to a conclusion about an issue. See an argument through to the end, you’ll thank yourself later when you and your partner are having a cuddle in bed rather than laying silent in the dark.
Don’t forget yourself
You want to make your partner happy but is it worth making yourself miserable in the process? We all need to compromise sometimes but if a decision is really going to upset and affect your life it is not one worth going through. Talk to your partner if a decision is going to cause you trouble and try to come to a compromise, never make yourself unhappy for their sake.
Take in every word your partner says to you, even if it’s about something you don’t find interesting at all such as football. If you take an active interest in them, they should also take an interest in you, which in turn leads to strong communication within the relationship and the reassurance that your words will never fall on deaf ears.
Learn to trust
You might have had your heart broken in the past but how will you ever learn to love and be with someone again if you don’t allow yourself to trust them? Ask yourself, have they ever given you a reason not to trust them? Do you know if they have ever been unfaithful or untrustworthy in the past with other people? If the answer is no to both questions it’s time to let go of the past and let them in.
Expect less, do more
Don’t sit back when in a relationship expecting all the affection and compliments to come from your partner, they need love and reassurance too. Let them know regularly how much you care for them, treat them every now and then and take an active interest in their life.
Don’t compare them to your previous partner
It’s easy to make comparisons throughout life, this is because our brains automatically pick up on patterns and behaviours that we like in people but it’s important when in a relationship that you do not compare your current partner to a previous one. There’s a reason why your last relationship didn’t work out so it’s important that you don’t feel disappointed if your current partner doesn’t do something your last one did. Forget past events and focus on the new person in your life.
Don’t hold on if it isn’t working
A relationship is hard work, there’s no denying that, and sometimes no matter how much you try it just can’t continue. Know when to call it a day and leave someone if they aren’t making you happy or you don’t share the same goals and aspirations. Then look forward to being with someone who does strive towards the same future, as you step away from anything holding you back.